Truth & A Cup of Coffee
Caffeine headache… Yep, I woke up with one this morning. In the busyness of getting my children up and ready for the day, my oldest dropped off at school, and myself prepared for a full days work, I missed even getting a sip of coffee before I left to combat it. With increasing desperation, I found myself walking into my office longing for that cup. I dropped my purse and keys at my desk and made my way to the Keurig.
As the aroma enveloped me, I found myself starting to relax. That first sip…well you know how that goes. Relief and a smile slid across my face. Those of you who know me well know my passion for good coffee!
As I leaned against the counter enjoying those first sips, I began to think about how much I loved coffee, but how I HATED being dependent on it. In fact, how I hated being dependent on ANYTHING! Anything… well, except God. That’s when I heard it, that still small voice in my soul speaking to my heart. “Really? Is that really true?”
As a strong, independent woman, and just a little bit strong willed, okay maybe more than a little… The truth is, I don’t like having to be dependent on anything, even God. I don’t mind being dependent on something if I choose it, if I’m in control. I like choosing to be dependent on God, not having to be dependent on Him. Wow, that is so prideful! As that realization rocked me, again I heard that still small voice. “Sweetheart, I’m going to continue to allow you to be put in positions where you HAVE to be dependent on me, until you are willing to surrender that too.”
Ouch, it always comes back to surrender. You’re right Lord, I not only want to choose to be dependent on you, I want to live in that place of total surrender and acknowledgment that even my every breath is dependent on you. Forgive me for my self-reliance and pride.
8b “We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it. 9 In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead.” 2 Corinthians 1:8-9
I’m still learning how to rely only on God. He is completely reliable, all powerful and unchanging. How grateful I am for His patience with me and his abundant grace.
Well, now that this is settled, I’m off to make a second cup of coffee while I thank Jesus for His truth! 🙂