Nancy Kuhuski

I initially wrote and posted this back in early October, but have been asked to share it again in light of the tragedies in New York City and Sutherland Springs, Texas this past week. We are in heavy times and the sheer volume of traumatic events places us at risk of compassion fatigue. Please take care of yourself and let’s take care of each other!  

“I’m not scared mama, I just am worried about what’s coming next.” I know baby girl… I know… My 15 years old’s sentiments are echoed by so many of us right now. There has just been SO much. From hurricanes, earthquakes, and wild fires, to senseless shootings, culminating with our most recent tragedy in Las Vegas. All of this backdropped with other significant and pressing issues facing and impacting our nation. It all feels a bit, or maybe a lot, overwhelming…

Many of you know I’m a social worker. In our field we talk a lot about something called Compassion Fatigue. Compassion fatigue is defined as “The emotional residue or strain of exposure to working with those suffering from the consequences of traumatic events. Compassion Fatigue can occur due to exposure on one case or can be due to a “cumulative” level of trauma.” (American Institute of Stress)

You don’t have to be in a helping profession to experience compassion fatigue. We live in an age, for better or worse, where we are up close and personal with disaster, tragedy, and the stories of those experiencing them. This is a gift as it allows us to respond, help when we can, and pray, but it also puts the images, sounds, and stories in front of us over and over, which can lead to compassion fatigue.

This morning I sat with Romans 12:15 “Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.” and Galatians 6:9a “So let’s not get tired of doing what is good…” I want to authentically celebrate with delight those who are happy, and mourn and cry with those who weep. This is good and right, but how do we do this in response to tragedy after tragedy without tiring in doing this good? I’ve been thinking about these 3 responses:

1. Feel your way through it. Being happy or weeping with another requires us to allow ourselves to authentically feel. That’s not always comfortable or easy, but it’s authentic. Being honest with ourselves and others about what we are feeling allows us to move through the range of emotions and figure out how to express what we are experiencing in a more healthy way.
2. Be gracious – both with ourselves and others. When we are feeling our way through something, it’s not a linear, step by step, process. Strong emotions can come and go, and sometimes crop up at times we were not expecting or in ways we were not prepared for. Giving ourselves and others an extra measure of grace during these times helps us all to continue on.
3. Practice boundaried ownership. Understanding what we are able to do, impact, or control and what we are not is critical. There is something powerful about doing in the face of tragedy. However, we don’t hold the weight of that responsibility singularly. When we own the boundary of what is within our power, we can act most effectively and help avoid the despair of feeling so overwhelmed by the vastness of the situation, that we do nothing. We are also empowered to let go of what is beyond our capacity and trust that while God will use us to do good, He is bigger than us, and bigger than even the most devastating circumstances of this world.

Where are you with your compassion? As we walk through these days and weeks following this time of darkness, will you feel your way through it, be gracious, and practice boundaried ownership? Please remember that if it ever starts to feel like too much – reaching out for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness! Reaching out for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness! Share on X We’re in this together…